Register | Forgot Password? | Customer Service

Michael Phelps, who just set a record at the Beijing Olympics winning eight gold medals in the pool, attributes part his success to his voracious appetite. Apparently, the star swimmer consumes over 12,000 calories a day, which is about five times what a normal adult eats.

For breakfast alone, hungry Mike takes in more than 4,000 calories. His typical breakfast consists of 3 fried egg sandwiches with cheese, fried onions and mayonnaise; a 5-egg omelet; a bowl of grits; 3 slices of French toast; and 3 chocolate chip pancakes.

But while that kind of eating may be impressive for Olympic champions, aboard a cruise ship it wouldn’t even get poor Mike a bronze medal. That’s because when it comes to serious chowing down, nobody does it better than a gang of passengers – especially when they’ve just spent all day on a shore excursion knowing there’s free food waiting for them back on the ship. Whatever you do, don’t block their path to the buffet table!

It might be the sea air, the salt water, the sunshine or just the fresh air. But every time I walk up the gangplank, everything becomes secondary to eating.

After all, there’s something special about starting my day with coffee and croissants in bed before strolling off to the dining room for a plate of bacon, eggs Benedict and blueberry pancakes. And there’s nothing more relaxing than lying by the pool while snacking on beef bouillon and cookies to satisfy my mid-morning cravings.

By the time the poolside grill opens at 11:00 am, I’m famished. So I usually get a temporary fix of cheeseburgers with fries before heading into the main dining room at 1:00 pm for a proper six-course lunch.

If that doesn’t sustain me until dinner, there’s always afternoon tea with a mouthwatering array of cakes and cookies, followed by a not to be missed array of pre-dinner canapés in the bar. And if my afternoon nap causes me to miss afternoon tea, I can order sandwiches – or perhaps a pizza if I am particularly peckish - from room service.

Naturally, all of this activity will have caused a ferocious appetite by 8:00 pm, which sometimes makes me indecisive in selecting my evening’s repast. Never mind. When I can’t decide, I just ask my waiter to bring me two of everything.

After knocking back several liqueurs in one of the bars, I’m usually ready for the midnight buffet. I try to sample as much as possible, but there’s just so many delectable items that my stomach doesn’t have room for all it. No matter. I just bring a nourishing plate of strawberry cheesecake and chocolate mousse back to the cabin in case I wake up hungry in the middle of the night.

So Mike, if you really want to get into some serious caloric intake, you need to switch your training camp to a cruise ship and start hanging out with me. Apparently, during a typical 10-day cruise on a medium-sized ship, some 35,000 eggs, 11,000 pounds of meat, 9,000 pounds of fish and 5,000 bottles of wine are consumed by passengers (most of it room service to my cabin). Just think what we could do to that record, Mike, if we worked together; you know, some kind of two-man relay race through the dining room.

By the way, did I mention that they have all sorts of ways for you to keep in top shape while you’re at sea? Not that I’ve tried any of them personally, but I understand they have jogging tracks, aerobic classes, rock climbing walls, training equipment, yoga classes and much more. And, of course, since you like water, you’ll be pleased to know that some cruise ship pools come with water slides, swim-up bars, and even surfing waves.

So Mike, I look forward to seeing you on my next cruise. You’ll find me at the front of the buffet line!