Aug
22
Mike Phelps, eat your heart out!
Filed Under cruise ship food
Michael Phelps, who just set a record at the Beijing Olympics winning eight gold medals in the pool, attributes part his success to his voracious appetite. Apparently, the star swimmer consumes over 12,000 calories a day, which is about five times what a normal adult eats.
For breakfast alone, hungry Mike takes in more than 4,000 calories. His typical breakfast consists of 3 fried egg sandwiches with cheese, fried onions and mayonnaise; a 5-egg omelet; a bowl of grits; 3 slices of French toast; and 3 chocolate chip pancakes.
But while that kind of eating may be impressive for Olympic champions, aboard a cruise ship it wouldn’t even get poor Mike a bronze medal. That’s because when it comes to serious chowing down, nobody does it better than a gang of passengers – especially when they’ve just spent all day on a shore excursion knowing there’s 
free food waiting for them back on the ship. Whatever you do, don’t block their path to the buffet table!
It might be the sea air, the salt water, the sunshine or just the fresh air. But every time I walk up the gangplank, everything becomes secondary to eating.
After all, there’s something special about starting my day with coffee and croissants in bed before strolling off to the dining room for a plate of bacon, eggs Benedict and blueberry pancakes. And there’s nothing more relaxing than lying by the pool while snacking on beef bouillon and cookies to satisfy my mid-morning cravings.
By the time the poolside grill opens at 11:00 am, I’m famished. So I usually get a temporary fix of cheeseburgers with fries before heading into the main dining room at 1:00 pm for a proper six-course lunch.
If that doesn’t sustain me until dinner, there’s always afternoon tea with a mouthwatering array of cakes and cookies, followed by a not to be missed array of pre-dinner canapés in the bar. And if my afternoon nap causes me to miss afternoon tea, I can order sandwiches – or perhaps a pizza if I am particularly peckish - from room service.
Naturally, all of this activity will have caused a ferocious appetite by 8:00 pm, which sometimes makes me indecisive in selecting my evening’s repast. Never mind. When I can’t decide, I just ask my waiter to bring me two of everything.
After knocking back several liqueurs in one of the bars, I’m usually ready for the midnight buffet. I try to sample as much as possible, but there’s just so many delectable items that my stomach doesn’t have room for all it. No matter. I just bring a nourishing plate of strawberry cheesecake and chocolate mousse back to the cabin in case I wake up hungry in the middle of the night.
So Mike, if you really want to get into some serious caloric intake, you need to switch your training camp to a cruise ship and start hanging out with me. Apparently, during a typical 10-day cruise on a medium-sized ship, some 35,000 eggs, 11,000 pounds of meat, 9,000 pounds of fish and 5,000 bottles of wine are consumed by passengers (most of it room service to my cabin). Just think what we could do to that record, Mike, if we worked together; you know, some kind of two-man relay race through the dining room.
By the way, did I mention that they have all sorts of ways for you to keep in top shape while you’re at sea? Not that I’ve tried any of them personally, but I understand they have jogging tracks, aerobic classes, rock climbing walls, training equipment, yoga classes and much more. And, of course, since you like water, you’ll be pleased to know that some cruise ship pools come with water slides, swim-up bars, and even surfing waves.
So Mike, I look forward to seeing you on my next cruise. You’ll find me at the front of the buffet line!
Comments
14 Comments so far
How come when I consumed that many calories every day, I would sick to the bottom of the pool and need to be rescued by pulleys attached to a forklift?
Nothing beats the buffet line for breakfast. For some reason, it is socially unacceptable to go into a Perkins, Denny’s, IHOP or similar breakfast-oriented restaurant and order everything on the menu, but on a cruise ship? It’s the order — no pun intended — of the day!
“Bring on the pancakes, warm cinnamony rolls and french toast! More sausage and bacon, please! Ohhh, are those cheese danish you just put out? Hey, you done making that omelette yet?”
Oh, calorific heaven….
COMMODORE DAVE,
YOUR GLUTTONY HAS BEEN REVEALED.
HAVE YOU CALCULATED THE CALORIES IN YOUR INTAKE,INCLUDING BOOZE?
PHELPS IS ABLE TO WORK A LOT OF IT OFF BUT THAT CANNOT
BE SAID FOR YOU (UNLESS I MISSED SOMETHING?)
WATCH THAT BELLY,DAVE.
Hey Commodore. If you need a third man for the dining room relay team consider me fit for competition! I love cruise ship cuisine and will do our country proud!!!
John:
I am surprised, shocked and deeply hurt that you would cast aspersions on my weight and physical fitness. Perhaps we should meet in the dining room or at the bar and discuss this in more detail.
This is so true… sad but true!
I have never eaten so much in my life as I did on our Med. Cruise!
Peanut Butter cookies and Milk poolside in the afternoon was my particular favorite snack! They came around with carts, delivered you personally the cookies and poured the milk for you - does it get any better?!
I volunteer to be the 4th person on the dining room relay team. Mike Phelps can be the lead, but I think Commodore Dave is much more qualified and fit to be the anchor. Dave, I’ll be second behind you on the buffet line on the next cruise!!!
Commodore Dave, it seems you always cruise with style. I look forward to next week when you and I can abuse some excessice food intake in downtown Ottawa.
good to know that my parents made an appearance — when it comes to eating, no one does it like the wingham-smiths…. -moorcrofts.
Ahoy Commodore: Michael Phelps would be an excellent anchor man for a buffet line relay challenge match! Perhaps he will choose to endorse one of the cruise lines and we might sign on his maiden voyage as food coaches? He seems like a meat and potatoes kind of guy; we can teach him about baked Alaska and bananas Foster.
Boy am I ever glad you mentioned this post tonight at the bistro, as it characteristically summarizes another of our shared passions; good cuisine. Although it is not something we have discussed in great detail I look forward to our next meeting as now I know exactly what to grill you about. (no pun intended)
Commodore, as always your posts make me chuckle. But I have a feeling you’re actually pretty careful about what you eat, because you seem to be quite fit. So, I have a question. I really like to eat healthy and try to carefully balance my carbs, protein, and fat intake, and I also try to keep as active as possible with intense cardio and weight training. Are there cruises for me out there?
Hi Pat.
Yes, there are plenty of ways to stay fit and healthy aboard a cruise ship. First, the ships have terrific health clubs with all the latest equipment. There are also jogging tracks, yoga classes, aqua-fitness classes, and a variety of other “active” activities such as paddle tennis, rock-climbing, mini-golf, surfing (yes, really), and loads of other things depending on the ship (the bigger, the more there is to do).
As for the food, all the ships now have lean and healthy menu options, as well as vegetarian choices. So, believe it or not, you could actually lose weight on a ship if you wanted to, although just staying equal is usually my objective. One of my tricks is that I try never to take the elevator on a ship and instead walk up and down the stairs. That’s a great way to keep from gaining weight from all the great food!!
Where is the commodore?
All has gone very quiet since the Phelps blog.
Has he retired to a fat farm?
Will all be revealed soon…………a new sylph like Dave?
Ahoy there First Mate John.
I have been on the east coast on a seafood diet. You know, see food, eat food. Anyway, a great drive through Quebec, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia to Halifax; and return through Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont. So much food, so little time!